Uncertainty

Uncertainty

River of tears,
Covered in dust.
Eyes twisted, unsure
Confused and in pain.

Green yet black,
Blockade of thorns.
Fading darkness
Or blinding light?

Cold winds,
Shivering fright,
Brings blessed rain,
Or ugly tempest?

Days In My Darkness

Days In My Darkness

It was as if just yesterday,
When in the darkness I dwelled.
When chaos upturned each day,
And when emptiness drowns me.

It was yesterday's dawn,
When I wished for death,
When I loathed my own life,
When I hated each moment.

Yet it was also yesterday,
When an unexpected light came my way
When darkness was left in the shadows,
When my fears were cast away.

It was just last night
When instead of darkness, the moon came,
When the fire swept away the cold,
And when passion washed away the hatred.

It was in the still of the night,
When silence drowned each breath,
When the stars beamed upon us,
When I wished I'd never wake up alone again.

Yet today, it seems that
I live in another darkness,
An empty chasm of nothingness,
A void where I can't see tomorrow.

Lonely

Lonely

Walking down this road of damnation,
Trying to trudge the street of redemption.
It was fourteen days since I touched your silky skin,
I'm so lonely you within that I could just scream.

This isn't a poem of sweet wine,
Simply my feelings expressed in rhymes.
This isn't to please anybody,
But to express the sadness residing in me.

I'd rather hear your soft whisper or angry screams even,
Than be shut in this jail of my silent world forever.
See my red eyes from sleepless nights,
But don't dare look at those showy tears I try to fight.

If only I can read your mind,
Or if only I can feel your emotions inside,
Then I can know what makes you really smile.
Please tell me, at least try.

Dreamer

Dreamer

I'm a dreamer without a dream. I don't try to talk with the moon, nor do I live in a world of my ideals. I am the dreamer that envisions the reality. Call me crazy, but all I want do is pour my heart out, even if it leaves me al exposed and vulnerable. You don't have to trust what I say, I've lied through life so many times. All I am asking is you try to read my hearts contents and judge me if I am worthy to your trust and your open heart.

Loving you isn't that easy. I pretend that I don't care for you, but when I feel your touch, all those pretentious tendencies melt away. This isn't an excuse, but there are persons will try to stop me from loving you. That is why I hide under a painful veil of secrecy. But I will do anything to be beside you. This is my mission impossible.

I am a great believer of destiny. I believe in the romantic reason of being predestined. Each and every step I took and will take will definitely lead me in front of you. And each stone I stumble upon are simple fire in the forge of my determination.

Devil's Guilt

Devil's Guilt

I am feeling guilty,
for questions so nutty.
I ask for the impossible,
causing unnecessary troubles.

Your consciousness sprained,
heart crushed in pain,
I am nothing but selfish,
a devil's personification in flesh.

This may be my shortest poem ever. I just wanted to express my thoughts right now.

The Strange Eulogy

A Strange Eulogy

He was a fine friend,
some of my troubles he mend.
He is my night's companion,
both as bother and minion.

Now he is gone,
I realize what he has done.
He wanted attention,
so he chose death's detention.

I had never realized,
that you were such a prize,
until you won't breath,
until I can't feel your heat.

It may seem strange,
to make a eulogy's page,
for a thing to top,
and most of all, a laptop.

It has been days, weeks perhaps or even months since my last post. What made me post again, was strangely the death of my beloved laptop. lol..

He has served me as a bother and minion for over two years. And finally, with his one year hardware warranty passed, he finally passed on. We can replace his system board but that is too much costly and costs as much as a brand new laptop so I think if ever I would have the money, I would opt for a brand new money.

Well, I just wanted to share a strange eulogy I thought of. And by the way, this is my way of looking positively at things that are completely negative. :p
Hope you like it.

My First Local Newspaper "Article"

I wrote the following letter to a local newspaper, Sunstar, in our area. I never thought that they would publish it as an article, as my purpose was just to call their attention. But just a day after I wrote the letter, on August 1, 2009, Sunstar published my letter in the column "Speak out".

The following is the exact words on the article:

AMA First Before SLU
GOOD day to Sunstar. I have just read the editorial/opinion on the issue of Friday, July 31 2009 about the Virtual Classroom of SLU. I reacted to the issue because of the claim it is the first in Cordillera Region. If you are aware, AMA Computer Colleges are offering subjects under eLearning long before.
And I am much aware that AMA CC Baguio Branch had been established as early as 2007, the year I enrolled here.
Thanks you very much and I would recommend that you check your facts before publishing them.

My Resolve

This is a poem I dedicate to my loved one, who I fondly call my baby.

My Resolve

I want to see your elusive eyes,
I long for your very smile,
the sweet smell of your skin,
your hair of black satin.

My life is because of you,
You reside in my heart, that's true.
Without you, I will be gone,
without your love, I am undone.

So even if I defy my destiny,
even if life's against you and me,
I will try my very hardest,
to love you with all my best.

New Directory is Up

To keep track on my posts, I just created a new directory located on the top right side of my blog. The links there redirect to a post where links are posted.

Drawings

Here is a list of the posts where I incorporated my own drawings.

• My Dog Sketches
  

myEssays and myOpinions

Here is a list of essays and opinions I have created.

• My First Local Newspaper Article
  
• Selfishness
  
• Keeping
• myChanges
  
• Pleasure's Illusion
• Freewill and Society
• Calvin and Hobbes - 1 Television Learning
• Philippines EDSA 2 - Looking Back into History
• I Survived - Suicide Documentary
• Dreamer
• AMA '09 Sports Fest: Blue Spartans Banner
  

My Poems

Here is a list of all the poems I have posted here.

• My Resolve - dedicated to my baby
• Devil's Guilt
  
• The Strange Eulogy
  
• Beauty
  
• myDream
  
• Dark Angel
• My Trial
• Hurt
• Straying from the line
• Meme's are Flooded
• Worker's Plight
  
• Path to Insanity
• Days In My Darkness
• Lonely
  

Selfishness

Again, I don't know what is in her mind. She teases me then leaves me alone. She says something sweet and the next second she doesn't say anything at all. She always leaves me hanging.

I call her my baby, yet I feel like I am not treating her that way. I had been careless. A baby's laugh is heaven yet a baby's cry is hell and we've both seen hell so many times. Even this distance between us is a fiery hell.

I can't ask more from her. I have already taken away many parts of her life. She could have been happier without me, that is what I believe. But I am selfish and I don't want her to leave my side.

I've been asking her to cross that hell just to be my side. Hopefully, she won't get too tired and decide not to be my side anymore.

But I am guessing this selfishness cannot go on forever. I have to accept the fact that one day, sooner or later, she would leave me. She has already accepted that fact, though I don't know how far ahead was she thinking.

Keeping

I feel so lonely. I am living yet I am so dead. I am incomplete, a lifeless doll waiting for the end, without a purpose. That is how I feel right now, alone and miles away from the one I love.
I had known her for more than a year now. Yet, I don't know anything about her. Still, I feel so attached to her. I don't know what she is thinking and I don't really know how she feels, yet I am believing in my instinct that she loves me and misses me too. I've only spoken to her a couple of times, yet my life is dependent on her.

A heartache, that what she is. If she would have been near me right now, she would have been the love that makes my heart skip with joy. But unfortunately, she is far away, a distance that crushes my already broken heart. Distance that makes my heart ache, that what she is.
I know I can't be selfish. I know that I can't have her forever. But I want to cling onto this part of my life as long as possible. I want to hold her near forever, even if I know that it is impossible. I want to kiss her lips until time stops, but destiny just won't let me. Life really is cruel, giving you a taste of the good thing before taking it away.

I know she is hurting too. I just am not sure who is hurting more inside, me who is always carefree, or her that keeps everything inside. I don't want to see her cry but sometimes I can't just help it. I had regretted a lot of things, including seeing her tears. And I don't want to see them again.

I know this is nothing but rants, but I have been holding this inside my heart for so long. I don't want to leave her. That is final.

myChanges

For months, maybe even years now, I've been living a carefree life. I've lived denying the truths and facts that are right before my eyes. I've been living a life without a goal, a life without meaning. I have always thought that this is where life stops and I have known everything I needed to know.

But to think that I had been so wrong. There is so much more in life. There are so many things to learn, so many things to improve. I decided to live behind those shadows of skepticism and face the world with a renewed heart.

I have put together a list that I wanted to improve and do in my lifetime. This post may seem boring to some but I think this is my first real post that tackles my blogs' goals: To keep track of the changes in my life."

• SKILL DEVELOPMENT
  
• Learn to play the Piano
• improve my poem's creativity
• develop my drawing skills
• learn to play the flute
• learn to play the guitar
• enhance photography
• enhance my magic tricks
• enhance photo-editing skills
• improve shorthand penmanship
• improve longhand penmanship
• learn to paint in Microsoft Paint
• develop cooking skills

• VENTURES I WANT TO TRY
  
• Long distance ride through the country side on a mountain bike
• hike on a cold mountain trail
• write a whole book of essays, stories and poems
• complete a computer program
• create a monthly animation
• study Greek mythology
• take a dive from a rock

• LONG TERM PLANS
  
• have at least two college degrees
• have a part time programming job
• have a full time work

• HABIT/BODY DEVELOPMENT
  
• develop my body muscles
• set a daily routine
• improve memory skills
• improve studying habits
• develop good sleeping habits
• never be late on my schedule again

• SOCIAL CHANGES
  
• revive old social connections
• maintain social connections
• develop a more approachable attitude
• practice being more social
• be more lively at conversations
• always aim for perfection
  

This list seem very long but I think that list is still lacking. Anyway, any advice on how to achieve them will be gladly accepted.

Beauty

Beauty

Beauty, what is beauty?
Is it a girl filled with pity?
Is it a lady in sorrow,
that on her cheeks, tears flow?

Should she be fair,
that everyone just stares.
Fair, what is fair?
Is it simply white, or a face that's rare?

Is beauty a field of flowers?
or the sound of rain showers?
Is she a young girl or mother nature?
Is beauty born with or grown and nurtured?

But what I do know,
is that your beauty will certainly show,
through life's hardships and tests,
when you undergo your own quest.

This is in response to prompts from Simply Snickers.

My Dream

My Dream

I went through a hard test,
crossing a lush forest,
parrying teeth of beasts,
and dodging sting of bees.

From the main road I strayed,
I forged my very own way,
then I found an unending line,
that led me to your very mind.

But the wounds I had will heal,
when your soft skin i can feel,
when you soft smile shines,
and when your heart is mine.

Oh, I will look for you,
so my dreams can come true,
that I'll be with you forever,
and pains I'll no longer remember.

This is in response to Simply Snickers and Weekend Wordsmith prompts, and hopefully I'll be online to post it on meme express this saturday.

Acrostic Only - Prompts for June 27th

This is my first attempt on acrostics. So I would appreciate criticisms and comments. Thanks.

Prompt # 1 DANCING
Dangerous
Actions and
Never ending
Commotion.
Impulsive
New moves, now
Gone...


Prompt # 2 JAM
Joy swelling,
Aching for
Magical motions.

Prompt # 3 THRILLER
Thoughts
Haunting the
Riddled
Insides.
Lounging and
Lumbering in an
Emotional
Ride.

Prompt # 4 SMOOTH CRIMINAL
Shadows
Moving
On and
Over
The law.
Hungering for
Crime, they
Reach
Inside for
Mindless
Insight.
Numb and
Always
Lawless.

Prompt # 5 OFF THE WALL

Prompt # 6 CRY
Calling, and
Reaching out for
You.

Prompt # 7 Michael Jackson

Prompt # 8 Earth Song
Every
Angel
Roared and
Truth's
Howling:

"Save
Our earth
Now before its
Gone"

Prompt # 9 She's out of my life
Sad,
Heartbroken,
Empty but
Sober.

Over you, yet
Under emotional
Trauma.

Our hearts
Free.

Mine and
Your

Love seemed
Impregnable, yet it
Finally
Ended

I will finish the other acrostics later. :) This is in response to acrostic prompts from Acrostic Only.

Dark Angel

Dark Angel

Are you the dark angel,
Who came to this world to mingle?
You came to see the world.
To me, it is hazy and blurred.

Where will you go now,
You who's dark as crow?
Take me with you,
I'll follow no matter where you go.

Will you be amused,
or simply be confused?
For I am a man in the dark,
waiting for you to leave a mark.

Are you the one people hated,
Or are they simply amazed?
I will follow you with open eyes,
Oh I will, 'til your dark feather flies.

This is in response to Simply Snicker's Poetry Prompt - through Sunday, June 28, 2009.

My Trial

My Trial

I tried to reach the light,

and I didn't gave in without a fight.

But in life, I am lost.

Without you, I am but a ghost.

Further in the darkness I slide.

With rules, I can never abide.

Life crushed my spirit,

I am tried to my very limit.

Everytime I make a step,

I slip further into the depths.

A man can't fight his nature,

especially that I am a dark creature.

But in the face of failure,

I want to have a measure.

I don't want to give up,

I will, Oh I will reach the top.